Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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