And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
two words...techno handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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