Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
