Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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