you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
