8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
