Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Randomize
