At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
