why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
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I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
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The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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