this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
