Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
All the doctor said was why
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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