What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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