i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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