If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
