Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
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Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
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We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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