she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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