Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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