Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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