maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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