And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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