If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
