i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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