She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
