I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
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