I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
