i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made out with two different species that night
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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