Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
