I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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