So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
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he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
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He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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