I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
