That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
