can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
