There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
