i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
