Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
tequila makes me forget i have legs
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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