matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
