why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
