You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
