We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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