when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!