how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about