i think my mom watched the whole time
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize