Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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