are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
pray to the hookup gods
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize