Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
