It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
