I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
