Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
the liver wants what the liver wants
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
