I only kidnapped one of them. chill
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
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