Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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