i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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