Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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