don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
