I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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