margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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