eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
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I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
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Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.