I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
