would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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